I guess this one needs to be the serious post. The post where I tell you my story, and why I've decided to memorialize it in the diet bloggers world. The post where you find out how I've been overweight my entire life, up and down, doing fad diet after fad diet (Ahh, Atkins...Baggie full of bacon for a snack? That's GOT to be good for you), some working but most not, and still always ending up back at square one plus ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds.
I feel like I have been dieting for years. It's on and off, fueled by bursts of motivation coming in the form of weddings, vacations, or (yikes) summer. This past diet has been about two years now. -I wonder if that's actually just called a lifestyle change? - Well, whatever it is technically defined as, I have decided that I am technically fed up with trying to get thin. I want this journey to finally end.
It's not that this has been a horrible two years for me, or two years filled with bean sprouts and Splenda. It's actually been a great period in my life, to be quite honest. Prior to the start of the Light Era (see what I did there?) I was suffocating under my weight and self image. Looking back now, I'm fairly certain I hated myself. I had let myself go, become this giant obese person, who avoided mirrors, shopped only at places like Old Navy ( Where the same trendy clothes came in size chubby as well), and lied to herself every night before going to bed that tomorrow she would start her diet.
I'm not sure what exactly made me go out and get serious. I honestly can't remember if it's because my size 22 jeans were getting to tight to zip, I could barely breath when I had to walk up the stairs to get to the el platform, or because I was sick of being the token fat girl when I went out with my friends. The funny girl that the guys only talked to to show my friends that they were decent human beings. Most likely a combination of all three, and the fact that I couldn't lie to myself anymore and pretend like I was happy with a body that I didn't seem to own any more.
So I went and bought a treadmill....and put it in my tiny, closet sized bedroom, squeezed in behind the door, right next to my bed and nine inch television. Why didn't I run outside? Or join a gym? Because fat people do not like to be seen sweating through the nine layers of tshirts we wear while working out, in the hopes that the excessive amounts of poly-cotton blend will compress our wobbly bits while we bounce around. Personally, I also don't like to be struggling to walk up a treadmill incline of 3, while Abby Rock Hard Abs is cruising along next to me, with her legs going at the speed of Super Sonic, and her hair still perfectly coiffed.
So I bought a treadmill. And even though my 300 pound frame couldn't run for more than two minutes at a time, I used the treadmill every day, for at least thirty minutes a day. I started by walking on an incline for fifteen minutes, running for two, walking for 15, and finishing by running another two. I changed up my diet a little bit. Not a lot. I still went out on the weekends, and I ate pizza and chocolate, but I incorporated more vegetables and lean proteins. And by the end of two weeks I had lost almost twelve pounds.
For anyone who is trying to lose weight, you'll know that when you see the first giant pound drop, it's like a drug after that. You want more, and you want it fast. So I started changing my diet more, eating oatmeal for breakfast, interspersing healthy snacks throughout the day, and not eating anything after 8 at night. I added situps and 5-lb weights to my workouts, and within two months I had lost another twenty five pounds.
My stamina built up, my muscles got stronger, and I began being able to run for longer amounts of time. By January of the following year (almost one full year after I had started), I was able to run about 4 miles, at about a 17 minute pace.
As the year went on, I lost more and more weight. I was down to a size 16 pant, and I felt great about myself. I knew that nothing could stop me from finishing this, and reaching a goal I had set for myself. I wanted to be a size 8. That's all. My actual weight didn't bother me anymore. I just wanted to be able to fit into fun, trendy clothes, and not have to constantly put something back on the rack when it didn't fit, or didn't fit right.
Then I got Mono. Has anyone ever had mono? It's probably the worst virus ever/ coupled with the best side effects. I was tired and lethargic ALL the time....but I didn't eat anything. I was never hungry, and within two months I lost almost 20 pounds. It was amazing. And then I started getting better....and ravenous. But I wasnt able to run like I had before. My doctor told me my liver and spleen could rupture. So I started packing on the pounds that I had lost through my Mono-rexia, and because I had also lost muscle mass, the weight that came back on looked even worse. It was the jiggly fat, the cellulite kind, that's almost impossible to get rid of. Even after I had been cleared by my doctor to resume running, and I started on a workout/ diet regime again, nothing would come off. Something had happened to my metabolism while I had mono, and I honestly had no idea what to do to fix it.
I kept plugging away on the treadmill, racking up miles, losing five pounds one week, and gaining it back when I started my period. It was so frustrating. Which is what finally led me to try something I had scoffed at up until that point. I have a very good, Do It Yourself attitude, and have never understood why someone would need a personal trainer when they can just go out, read up on workout routines, and hit the gym. I had bought P90x, tried it myself, couldnt laugh for almost a week after the ab routine, and decided that I might need a trained professional to help me with my workouts.
Which is where I am at right now. Documenting my final stand against flab. I hired a trainer, I'm watching what I eat, and I'm chronicling all of my failures and successes until I reach what I've been ultimately trying to reach all my life. Thinner thighs, inner peace, and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of. Join me.
No comments:
Post a Comment